Forgave you
by StarkidPotterMerllockhead
Summary: A oneshot: On Valentines Day Merlin is miserable and he's just about had enough... Merlin and Arthur friendship MerlinXFreya


"_**Here have some water or I'll finish it."**_

"_**You really are a good friend Merlin." She took the flask from me and I watched as the poisoned water slid down her throat.**_

"_**I'm sorry Morgana," I whispered as she realised what I had done, I pulled her into my lap and sobbed as she struggled to breathe and her face went pale and her eyes went unseeing staring in horror up at me. I closed her eyes and kissed her head whispering my sorry and how much I had l had cared for her all that time, how much I wanted to tell her my secret and how much I was going to miss her because I knew what Morgause would do.**_

I lie in bed and dream about her, about her fearful eyes, about the way she fell into my lap as her throat closed up. I shake myself and wipe away tears as the horrors of that eventful day appear before my eyes every time I sleep, every time I blink I see her in the darkness.

Then I think about the way she looked at me every day I walked past her in corridors, the glare I got when she stared at me froze the shattered remains of my heart. I wipe tears away from my eyes but they flood down my cheeks and leave them puffy and red.

I look at Arthur and Gwen ruling side by side and feel a pang of jealousy, they haven't had to go through knowing that it was their fault that someone they cared about turned to the darkness or died, my mind wanders back to Freya the druid girl that was cursed by an evil witch, she turned into a winged cat that killed innocent people. I think about how she died in my arms and promised to repay me one day, I realised then that everyone I touched changed and hurt the people they loved, I can't take it knowing that one day Arthur might die because of me, I wipe the tears from my eyes and get up to go to Arthur and Gwen's quarters to give them breakfast.

"Happy valentine's day Merlin!" Yells Gwen as I walk in on them opening presents. I ignore them and put their breakfast down.

"Me_r_lin?" Asks Arthur with a questioning look.

"What? I don't see what's so good about it?" I snap before walking out of the room as tears slide down my cheeks for the second time this morning, why should they be so happy and I have no one? I push back a sob and start walking away when someone grabs me.

"Merlin what's wrong with you?" Whispers Arthur as I pull my arm away.

"Nothing just leave me alone," I say.

"Not until you tell me what's wrong!"

"NOTHING!" I yell my voice shaking as my emotions betray me.

"Merlin shush! Tell me because if I wasn't a king we might just be friends," I smile slightly as I remembered how he said that to me before.

"Why do you get to be so happy?" I cry wiping my eyes. "Why can't I have someone to hold onto and to love me like Gwen loves you?"

"I'm sorry I didn't realise..."

"Everyone I love is taken away from me! Morgana! Freya! Everyone!" I shout letting out a strangled sob as Arthur puts his arm round my shoulders to comfort me.

"Who's Freya?"

"The druid girl you so brutally killed!" I snap realising to late what I said and wanting to take it back.

"You helped her?" He gasps pulling back slightly.

"People don't deserve to be killed for what they were born with Arthur, some people use it for good and to help people, Freya was cursed with something she couldn't control but I loved her and I lost her," I whimper recalling the horrible memory.

"What happened?"

"I buried her... Come on," I say pulling him out of the castle and away into the forest towards the place I had visited so often in the past few years, whether it was retrieving the sword forged in the dragon's breath or just wanting some time alone, Arthur kept quiet with his other hand locked on his sword sheath but otherwise looking quite confused.

Finally we arrive at the lake and I smile sadly as the memories come flooding back, "I buried her in the lake where she lived when she was a child."

"I... I didn't know..." Arthur stammers as tears fill his grief stricken eyes.

"It's ok Arthur I realise now that you done what you thought was right," I say walking into the lake and taking a deep breath as I feel her presence, "Arthur I know sorcery can be a source for good because that's what I've been using it for over the past few years." I ignore his shocked face and muttered a few words causing a few flowers to dance across the lake surface.

In the middle of the lake spirals appear and then a form appears from the water, I gap in amazement as it walks towards me and cry out in joy as I realise who it is.

"Merlin!" She laughs running towards me and I running towards her and pushing my lips against hers, I run my hand through her hair and then wrap them round her waist and twirl her around in the air in disbelief at the fact she's here! I pull back slightly and stutter.

"B... But how?"

"I don't know but I must return soon do not blame yourself for everything that happened,"

"But Morgana..." I sob.

"You saved Camelot! She changed her alliances way before and doesn't deserve your grief," she says unwrapping her arms from my neck and walking over to a shaking Arthur who falls on the floor and sobs.

"I'm so sorry! If I'd of known I would never of..."

"Rise Arthur Pendragon I should apologise for everything I done to hurt you and your people, I forgive you and you should put your grief into making Camelot a better place," she explains with a smile that makes my heart thud.

"Yes of course," Arthur nods taking her hand and kissing it lightly, "I'm sorry for the pain I caused you none the less."

"And I'm sorry too now I must go."

"WHAT NO!" I yell running towards her and forcing her to look me in the eyes.

"Avalon's calling me my love but know that I will always love you and will always be there to guide you and help you," she says before kissing me one last time and diving down into the lake.

"I'm never going to see her again," I mumble with a weak smile.

"Merlin... I'm sorry I didn't..." Arthur cries out tears streaming down his face.

"It's ok Arthur... I already forgave you."

**JUST A ONESHOT PLEASE REVIEW! :)**


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